Need a zero-volume bottle?
Searching for a one-sided surface?
Want the ultimate in non-orientability?
Get an ACME KLEIN BOTTLE!
Glass Klein Bottles for sale - inquire within / ras4
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Need a zero-volume bottle? Searching for a one-sided surface? Want the ultimate in non-orientability? Get an ACME KLEIN BOTTLE! |
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At last, Acme Klein Bottle has conquered
topological and engineering frontiers to manufacture genuine glass Klein
bottles. These are the finest closed, non-orientable, boundary-free
manifolds sold anywhere in our three spatial dimensions.
These elegant bottles make splendid
gifts, outstanding classroom displays, and inferior mouse-traps. With
its circle of singularities, an Acme Klein bottle can be said to exist
inside of itself -- especially handy during time-reversals.
A mathematician's delight, handcrafted in glass
... from your Zero Volume Klein bottle distributor
2023-March-18 (Saturday) - I've caught up with sending out KLein bottles from the recent Numberphile video. I'm now back to more-or-less normal, sending out Klein bottles within 24 hours. Thanks to all! -Cliff
Special -- I will write a custom message on your
glass Klein bottle using a Sharpie pen (or, if you wish, sign my name
on it). No charge for this -- just mention it at checkout.
CORONA VIRUS: I've ordered everyone at Acme Klein Bottle to work from home. Of course, I'm Acme's only employee, and this is my home business. Which is to say: Yes, I will send out your Klein bottle within 24 hours. Often within two hours. -Cliff
Self-siphoning Cup of Tantalus and a Topless Teapot
Polyhedron Posters! Plenty of Polyhedra
NEW -- IMPROVED! EVERY ACME KLEIN BOTTLE NOW COMES PRE-EQUIPPED WITH A GENUINE RIEMANNIAN METRIC! GUARANTEED! *CERTIFIED BY A REAL UNDERGRADUATE MATH MAJOR*
An Acme Klein bottle is a perfect gift for a mathematician, computer scientist, or troglodyte. In Germany, it's called a Kleinsche Flasche. A Klein Bottle makes a great math gift and an ideal present for a mathematician!
Origami Klein Bottles? Yep! Also, check out my Klein Bottle Slicing Machine
We made the world's largest glass Klein bottle for the Kingbridge Centre!
Answer to my most commonly asked questions:
1) Yes, I am Cliff Stoll, and I make and sell Klein bottles. My business is named Acme Klein Bottle.
2) Yes, I regularly send these to countries around the world.
3) Yes, you can safely order from this website, and I will send your Klein bottle within 24 hours.
4) Yes, I pack each one very securely to survive the post; I guarantee safe, speedy delivery.
5) If you are unhappy with your Klein bottle, I will refund your money.
6) If this is a gift, I'll print "Happy Birthday" (or whatever you want) on the packing slip or the outside of the package. If you wish, I'll write your message on the bottle with a Sharpie pen.
7) No, I no longer do the hot glass work - I contract this out to professional glassblowing shops. I do everything else myself - from design to packing to writing the html on this website, with occasional help from my son Danny, my daughter Zoe, and my wife Pat.
8) Yes, you are welcome to visit if you are traveling to Northern California (San Francisco/Oakland/Berkeley) Call first - 510 654 3958 //but I'm really busy from mid November until Dec 31st//
9) No, I cannot engrave these glass Klein bottles. The borosilicate glass laughs at laser beams and the compound curves defy X-Y tables..
10) Yes, there are many math jokes on this website, but despite that, I really do sell Klein bottles
11) Yes, my son Danny and I designed each of these bottles ourselves. Our designs are copyright © by Cliff Stoll
12) My website looks old-fashioned because it loads faster this way and (mainly) I'm too lazy to rewrite it. I wrote much of it between 1996 to 1999 (before CSS was invented), I last updated this on Monday March 13th, after a rainstorm).
13) Yes, that's me in the [ video / book / talk / college / bowling alley ]
-Cliff Stoll in Oakland (two blocks from Berkeley, 10 km east of San Francisco, and epsilon away from some boundary)
ARE YOU A STUDENT, AGE 12 TO 17? Do you like the kind of math humor that's on this website? Then consider one of the terrific summer math camps! Several that come to mind: the Hampshire Summer Studies in Math (in Amherst, Massachusetts during July & August... learn why the Yellow Pig endorses 17 varieties of Acme Klein bottles -- hcssim.org). Also, the MathILy program at Bryn Mawr (five weeks of maximum mathematical marvelousness) (www.mathily.org). I've also heard great things about Epsilon Camp in Utah (well, one of the Epsilon camp counselors visited, and she really impressed me!) There are dozens more camps-- see a list of these camps at www.ams.org/programs/students/emp-mathcamps ... feel free to ask me for opinions or comments about these various math camps. Also -- Math Circles are springing up around the world ... find out if there's one in your neighborhood: www.mathcircles.org/Wiki_ExistingMathCirclePrograms_view
COMMITTED TO TRANSPARENCY! International and transgalactic organizations require transparency and openness-- Acme is proud to offer FULLY TRANSPARENT Klein bottles that are OPEN and VISIBLE. We certify that NOTHING IS HIDDEN INSIDE YOUR ACME KLEIN BOTTLE!
In response to almost two requests, I've uploaded my IMPERFECTO RULER
Our "M&M's in a Klein bottle Contest" is closed
When you order from this website, your should immediately receive an automated confirmation from my system. When I actually pack your Klein bottle, I will compose a non-automated email, with the return address of kleinbottle [email protected] kleinbottle ddoatatdot com. That second email will have a tracking number in it, as well as a link to photos of the package that I'm sending to you. If you don't see that second email within a day of ordering, please check your spam/junk mail folder. And if you still don't see that email from me, please send me a note and I'll figure out what's worng.
My email troubles: I receive huge amounts of spam. I never send out any spam. If you write to me, I may not see your email unless you include the phrase "klein bottle" in the subject. My replies to your may end up in your spam folder, so please include my address in your list of Permitted Senders.
HOW TO GET EMAIL TO CLIFF: Send me email - KLEINBOTTLE aa ttt KLEINBOTTLE (ddoott] COM Important: to get through layers of my spam filters, please include the two words "Klein Bottle" in the subject of your email and also in the body of your text. Please use plain text without html. Email with subjects like "Hello Cliff"or "Do you ship to Nigeria?"or "Good Day" or "HI"will be delayed until I look at my spam folder.
HOW TO RECEIVE EMAIL FROM CLIFF: Iif you purchase anything from me, or write to me, please add kleinbottle aa ttt kleinbottle (ddooott) com to your Permitted Senders. This is especially important if you use gmail, hotmail, yahoo, or AOL. Much of my email to these mailboxes gets blocked as spam, which annoys me greatly, especially when I spend half an hour composing an email and it winds up in the gutter.
Acme Klein Bottle -- by Cliff Stoll, (and Pat, Zoey, & Danny Stoll) 6270 Colby St.,
Oakland, California, 94618 USA phone +1 510 654 3958 We are a family
business, operating from our home. You're welcome to stop by for
coffee & chat - please call ahead if you plan to visit.
** * * UPCOMING TRAVEL: * * **
When I'm home, I send out Klein bottles as I receive
orders - within 24 hours, and often within the hour. When I travel, I
send out all Klein bottles when I return. Here's my travel schedule:
// no travel plans as of early March 2023.!
Acme Klein Bottle - where yesterday's future is here today!
AMAZON BRAND HIJACKING:
For details on my experience of Amazon Brand Hijacking, please click here
Seeking a topological solution to the global financial crisis? Help the world economy by purchasing an Acme Klein bottle!
