Now -- Calibrated Klein Bottles!

In response to underwhelming customer demand, Acme is pleased to introduce calibrated Klein Bottles.

You need never doubt the volume of your Klein Bottle, now that Acme provides fully calibrated Klein Bottles. To determine the volume, simply glance at the easy-to-read graduated scale.

Best of all, this calibration service is FREE! With every Klein Bottle, you will receive a clear-vinyl calibration decal that sticks to your manifold. Just peel away the stiff paper backing, and then carelessly press the clear decal onto your bottle. No adhesive is required, so you can remove the decal during leapyears, should the authorities so require.

Once you apply the decal, we ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE your Acme Klein Bottle to be CERTIFIED not to be TRACEABLE to the American National Institute of Standards and Technology, Measurement Canada, the British National Physical Laboratory, Deutsches Institut für Normung, Australian National Measurement Institute, Istituto Nazionale di Ricerca Metrologica Italiano, Asociación Española de Normalización y Certificación, 日本の計量標準総合センター, La Red Nacional de Metrología de Chile, Français Laboratoire National de métrologie et d'essais, Bureau de Normalisation en Belgique, Всероссийский научно-исследовательский институт метрологической службы, Mexican Dirección General de Normas, Nationale Metrologisch Instituut van Nederland, Sveriges Standardiseringsråd, Ulusal Metroloji Enstitüsü, Polski Komitet Normalizacyjny, 中国计量科学研究院, Singapore National Metrology Centre, भारतीय विधिक माप विज्ञान संस्थान, Schweizerische Normen-Vereinigung, Eesti Standardikeskuse, 한국표준과학연구원, Fonden Dansk Standard, National Metrology Institute of Ireland, מכון התקנים הישראלי, Justervesenet, Associação Brasileira de Normas Técnicas, للهيئة السعودية للمواصفات والمقاييس والجودة, Mittatekniikan keskus, Instituto Argentino de Normalización y Certificación, New Zealand Standards Laboratory, României Institutului National de Metrologie, Österreichisches Normungsinstitut, 經濟部標準檢驗局, Instituto Colombiano de Normas Técnicas y Certificación, Републички завод за стандардизацију и метрологију, O Instituto Português da Qualidade, National Metrology Institute of South Africa, Ελληνικό Ινστιτούτο Μετρολογίας, Укрметртестстандарт, AND the Bureau International des Poids et Mesures in Paris.

If you already own an uncalibrated Klein Bottle, send us e-mail and we'll happily send you a decal for zero cost.

Your Klein Bottle won't dissolve in organic solvents, but the label might. So remove the calibration before visiting a chem lab!

Notice that the photos below show our old calibrations, which were baked onto the glass. Our improved vinyl calibration decals can be removed and replaced as you wish.

Yet another value-added service from ACME, world leader in the topologically trivial.

A Classic Klein Bottle with calibration marks

Here's a Big Classic Klein Bottle calibrated with graduation lines.

Or is it graduated with calibration lines?

Closeup of those calibration marks

A closeup of the calibrations.

Top Mouth Erlenmeyer Klein Bottle with green water and calibration marks


Our Top Mouth Erlenmeyer, calibrated and half-filled with green water. Notice how you can easily measure the volume of the Klein Bottle using the meniscus.

Also note that the barometric pressure is lower than normal -- the fluid has risen in the side arm.

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Cliff last updated this page on 2021 July 11th