Klein Bottle Cartoons, Limericks, Rhymes, and Haiku
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This is from Jean~Pierre Petit's le Topologicon -- a delightful book of adventures in topology. Alas, it's only in French. Jean Petit has worked extensively on Boy's Surface, and his series of books, Les aventures d'Anselme Lanturlu, tickle the mind and bring smiles to the eye. See http://www.jp-petit.org for more! |

I don't know who modified this classic propaganda poster ... it once said (in Russian), "A responsible adult says NO to alcholic drinks"
Check out Glass Klein Bottles at Acme Klein Bottle's Home Page
One sided verses & limericks:
I like to live in my little Klein bottle.Imagine a cylinder, stretched up'l and out'l.
Push in the bottom to link with the throttle.
You need 4 dimensions to bring this about'l.
A home that's ingenious, clever, and crafty.
I find it delightful, but a little bit drafty.
(apologies to Katharine O'Brien)
A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Möbius Loop was divine
Said he, "If you glueThe edges of two
You get a weird bottle like mine."
This ray of from Edith Emeritz's brillaince:
I can tell by my friends' wondrous gazes
That my Klein Bottle truly amazes.
Some find my new phialOutrageously vile,
It not only amuses, it crazes.
Deena Skolnick, Stanford University's Class of 2003 is happy with her Acme Klein Bottle:
One day as I was sitting, merely resting at my workThere approached a friend of mine who first stared, then went berserk.
But since I'd learned in infancy that attention follows gaze,
I watched his eyes and saw they fell on a bottle to amaze.
It was, of course, none other than my Baby Classic Klein
A bottle without volume and with one side by design.
Quoth he, "Might I inquire, if I could be so bold,
As to where you have acquired this no-boundary manifold?"
"Why sure," said I, "it's no surprise, just look where you would think:
Who else could be behind this glass but Acme Bottles, Inc.?"
"Aha!" he cried and jumped for joy and rushed out and was gone
Leaving me to ponder my 3D phenomenon.
My friends, I have no moral with which to end this tale
Except to let you take a look at where they are on sale!
Joy Wartman has this to say:
A Mathematician named CliffWho found four dimensions terrif
Made bottles called KleinThat wouldn't hold wine
Should he try in dimension the Fifth?
Here's an unsolicited endorsement from Adrian Anderson who bought an Acme Klein Bottle in the summer of 2000:
Having received a bottle by KleinAn Acme product quite fine
If dimensionally ableI shall place on a table
And admire for a mighty long time
Andrea Blumberg tells us that::
A bottle, created by Klein,Caused a fuss on both banks of the Rhine.
This miraculous flaskSpurred the people to ask,
"Can you do the same thing with a stein?"
Michele Denber writes::
I'm very happy to sayMy Klein bottle got here today.
It's really quite fine,This bottle by Klein
In an odd topological way.
This limerick by deepseajelly (July 2017):
On my desk I make use of cosine
I also love learning of Einstein
In need of dec'rationAnd math-base elation
I purchased Acme's glass by F. Klein
Ben Eldred composed this limerick either on a breezy Houston morning or else at some other time in 2021:
An objet d'art that's quite bold,
This sparkling Acme manifold
From the witty web store
Filled with math jokes galore
I'll order before they're all sold!
... a few days later, Ben further polished his limerickal talents by scribbling:
My bottle arrived! I'm excited
To display my new art that's one-sided
But it still hurts my brain
WHen I try to explain
How it makes Mobius strips when divided!
Here's Cliff Stoll's attempt to riff on Lewis Carrol:
'Twas brillig in a manifold, where eigenvalues squirm,
A Klein bottle lurked without—defying every term—
And slick proofs did gyre about, as vectors through the field;
All twisty were the boundaries, where edges would not yield.
“Beware the foldless flask,” they said, “the Acme of its kind—
It drinks its own domain and loops through every mind.
No inside/outside, yet form persists—defying what seems true—
A vessel made of paradox the mind must wander through.”
Cliff took his torch in hand, in fractal thought so deeply caught,
Through Möbius dreams and genus schemes, in boro glass he wrought;
Till standing there, with knowing grin, he sealed that looping seam—
A surface where all sides are one, like logic in a dream.
“And hast thou mapped the Klein, my friend?” the silent blackboard asked.
“Oh yes,” he said, “but not in space where Euclid’s tidy rules hold fast.
For here, the world folds back on self—no edge to make it real—
Just mathematics, pure and strange, where nonsense truths congeal.”
From: "-s-p-e-c-t-r-u-m-" But it gives my poor braincells a trip. Leave Klein to his bottle; I'll just stick with Moebius' strip. To add to dimensions one more, You just square what you had before. That the strip's figure-eight, Is Klein's figure then sixty-four? Alex Rennet (of McMaster Univ) has a poetic father: There once was a physicist who made bottles
topological, Chris Innanen (aka Nonsanity) writes: "This fleaker's no leaker," Roy fessed This one by Peter Beuret: There once was a bottle called Klein That had such a clever design It would turn inside out, Which created some doubt When it came to decanting the wine. Bill Kilner's contribution to nonorientable poetry:: When a Klein Bottle's blown out of glass Since the object's 4-D A Haiku by Jacob and Shari Bandes: In 4 dimensions there is no intersection but in 3 there is. Fraser Talbot of Christchurch, NZ created this singularly accurate Haiku: Two Moebius loops Combine to form this bottle With only one side. Ode on a Klein Bottle Thou perfect
unspoiled borosilicate manifold, Arrival of My Klein Bottle I thought that I might haversine, The following by Cliff Stoll: Looks a lotl Like a big ol' Axolotl The space it takes'll Needs a tunnel With a hole Like a funnel. Its Singularities'll Make a circl In it's space'l Poly-dimensional. Its sides be singl Like its handl. This twisty thing'l Moebius Band'l An Acme Manifold'l Keep you out of troubl This boundless bottl Isn't awfl Spheres with crosscaps Homeomorph'll ...Cliff Stoll 10/2000 (with apologies to David McCord) Mathematicians try hard to floor us With a non-orientable torus They say is divine But it is so exceedingly porus. from the Space Child's Mother Goose by Winsor & Parry (a
whimsical 1950's book, recently
republished by Purple
House Press) : Three jolly sailors from Blaydon-on-Tyne They went to sea in a bottle by Klein. Since the sea was entirely inside the hull The scenery seen was exceedingly dull.
bottle of one side holds nothing and ev'rything; no one understands Jean-Pierre Petit has designed some wonderful new Klein Bottle
derivatives, seen in his paper, TOPOLOGIE- Le retournement non
trivial du tore. (C.R. Acad. Sc. Paris t. 287, 20 November 1978).
Here are a few figures from this brilliant mind. Note that these
are not Klein bottles - as far as I can tell, each is homeomorphic
to a torus. Figure 4 is very much like the Acme double "Klein bottle" (which is really a
torus, not a Kleinbot). Annie Giercyk of Muhlenberg College wanted to fill a baby Klein bottle
- she found that Nerds Candies will do the trick! Send your contributions or links to
kleinbottle(AT)kleinbottleDOTcom Acme Klein Bottles - Exclusive Purveyors of the
Non-Orientable
Thinking in 4-D is hip,
So I think that I ought'l
So if I've got it straight
whose surfaces defied all the senses logical;
One day in pursuit of dimensions unattainable,
using all the strength of which he was capable,
he blew so hard, one turned insideoutical.
"But all thickened solutions congest.
But decanting is quick
With no 'insides' to stick
So an Erlenmeyer Klein bottle's best!"
(Like a flat drawing of Mobus class)
If you crush it to 3
by Edith Emeritz, With sincere apologies to Keats
Thou alien sojourner from dimension four,
Crystal visitor, who canst thou behold
A transparent image more puzzling than before:
What Mobius loops haunt about thy fringe
Of self-intersection, or of neck,
Twisted in nonorientability?
What curves or bends are these? What aura check?
What mad pursuit? What effort to unhinge?
What zero volume vial? What wild ecstasy?
by RAD Donato
but then I figured, nope,
since she was neither in nor out,
immersed in visions of
manifold lemniscate
R four projections of
beautiful
spirals of Cote
I thought then I might sine myself,
when Ida surfaced later,
she wanted one too, in just four hues,
and one like an overfed
eyes of pink
albino
cannibal blind
alligator.
We then went out to celebrate
the film "Paradromic" was playing,
reviewers had written that "so many twists,
left the viewers in knots
and ringing in ears
and chair surfaces
hardly remaining"
The theater first showed us Mobius shorts,
but this held no interest for I,
the movies were all simple one-sided plots,
full of holes
and worse
she made me watch twice
'cause she likes some n 2-tori.
I somehow was able to watch the hole movie,
though many times made sounds quite glottal,
needless to say I hurried right home
so I could go hit the Klein Bottle.
Acme's Klein Bottl
The bottle of Klein
Oliver Humpage of Bristol, England wrote these two
haiku after receiving an Acme Klein Bottle:
when filled with water,
this four-dimensioned vessel
would leak in odd ways

